We all know that we want a relationship that is a TEN(or as close as possible). Then again, that is ideal, specially when it concerns Mr. Unavailable.
Well, thats the case. All you can hope is to be able to make it work.
So how the hell does this all work?
At the beginning, Mr. Unavailable blows hot to reel you in. At times you will feel like you are approaching the holy grail of ten.
Then the novelty will wear off for him. He’ll think you’re getting too close or that you want too much, so he starts blowing cold and lukewarm to bring the temperature of the relationship to Magic Number FIVE. He is simply managing down your expectations so that you learn what you will be getting from him.
Mr. Unavailable’s (emotionally unavailable men) like to keep the relationship in the comfort zone of Magic Number FIVE.
His blowing hot and cold is about managing your expectations of him and the relationship, but it is also about bringing the relationship back to FIVE – The Status Quo.
You, being the ‘Accidental Drama Seeker’ and the 'Fall-back', will be forced to come out of the hazy glow of the relationship and all of his charm, and you’ll be brought back to earth with a thud. You will either pull some serious drama that will either take it below five or you will throw just enough drama into the mix to force him to blow hot again and take things a couple of notches above FIVE.
When it gets below Magic Number FIVE, you panic. When it gets below Magic Number FIVE, you’re in you’re drama seeking comfort zone. YOUR Status Quo. ‘Accidental Drama Seekers' are always scared. You don’t trust it when it’s good so you’ll sometimes act up a bit just to prove he’s the assclown that he is, which pushes the relationship below FIVE.
Of course, when things go below Magic Number FIVE, he either blows lukewarm by saying just enough to re-establish The Status Quo and gets it back to Magic Number FIVE or he’ll blow hot to take things above Magic Number FIVE and buy himself some peace and quiet for a while. And then blow a little cold or lukewarm to ease you back to Magic Number FIVE.
However, when it is above Magic Number FIVE, you are likely to be suspicious and to be fair, despite your penchant for drama, you actually have good reason. You know the drill. You know the score. You know the pattern. You know he’ll say just enough doo doo to shut you up for a bit and then it’ll be back to same sh*t, different week.
The process simply goes on.
Now, pardon my oversimplification. I am simply having my drama moments.