Yesterday, while I was out having my late afternoon burrito and guacamole treat for myself, a guy approached me and started asking (weird) questions. Well, the questions aren't really weird under normal circumstances. Maybe, its not the questions, but the situation that is weird.
First, I really don't know the guy. I was having my munchies al fresco, watching people and being watched by people at the same time, when this guy (who is not-so-cute and i didn't find attractive at all) walked by my table and asked for a stick of cigarette. I politely gave him a stick and a light and I went back to my food.
The guy walked a few meters away and decided to sit a few tables away without ordering anything. As I savor the spices on my first bite of my burrito, the guy was looking at me and what I was doing. I know he was looking. I can see him from the corner of my eyes.
Just when I was about to take another bite, I heard the guy asking "ano ang kinakain mo" (what are you eating.) I casually answered "burrito". Then he asked further, "ano yang green na nilalagay mo?" (what is that green thing you put). Still trying to be nice, I answered "guacamole".
I went on eating, but starting to get a bit pissed as the guy kept on asking questions. Questions which I think in the first place he shouldn't be asking. I just tried to ignore it and just thought the guy is either playing stupid, or that he is really naturally stupid. Or maybe he could simply be trying to get noticed. Well, in any case, I am NOT liking what he is doing.
I tried hinting that I am not interested. Sometimes, I would deliberately ignore him and pretend I didn't hear his further asking and just went on eating. That didn't seem to work, though. The guy was persistent. He is starting to get into my nerves.
He moved to my table and sat on a vacant chair. The guy is now asking for more "personal" questions. He started by asking my name, then asked further if I am gay or bisexual. Hoping that he would stop, I answered his questions straight and flat. But that didn't stop him for asking further. I started to be taken aback.
I asked myself how much should I put forward. How much information should I be giving this stranger.
I never really had to try to go anonymous before. Neither did I have to make up some 'persona' whenever I talk to people. I mean, I give my real name when I am asked, give my real age, where I live, what I do, and similar questions. I was never comfortable creating a 'certain character'.
Same goes with my blogging. I write about things that I am passionate about, things that interest me, or just about anything I want to share.
Sometimes, I catch myself subconsciously thinking twice about what I tell people and what I let people know through my writing. I realize that there remains a lot more that I observe everyday, a lot more that stirs thoughts and opinions up there in my head that should never find their way to spoken words or publishing. But as to which is which, I cannot tell. I seem to have no clear boundaries as where the red line should be drawn.
With the recent experience, I realized that red lines will show themselves when necessary. I know I have been a little careless and a bit more impulsive, but the red lines that restrict our expression will come from 'within' at a right place and the right time.
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PS.
When red lines tell us to limit ourselves, there is always Post Script.
