However, last Saturday, I decided to have a break. I decided to go out to do some face management and practice some social skills (once again). I also wanted to know if I can (still) handle temptations.
Its been a while since I last attended a public party, but I wasn't so excited that night. I sure missed going out with my close friends and spending the night as if we own the world, but at the back of my mind, I knew some things have changed and we (might have been) past our crazy times.
Anyway, with some hesitations, I still decided to put on my white button down shirt and jeans and off we went to Malate's White Party. I was joined by three friends.
The night initially had a marketplace appeal to me, literally and figuratively. Aside from the railings and the tents they had on the streets of Orosa and Nakpil whick resemble more like tiange or talipapa. You will also see people of different type, displayed in different sections-- there is the dry section, the wet section, the fresh, the 'bilasa', the maganda, the nagmamaganda. Its gayness in all its form. It was fun looking at them, nonetheless.
It was refreshing to see some familiar faces, though. It was equally 'nice' to see some faces which, given a choice, I wish I didn't see (**i am trying to play sarcastic here) as we approached Nakpil. But I had to hold my social gestures to merely giving casual hi's, occasional wave, and impersonal smile at times instead of the usual beso beso until we reached Bed Bar. Not that I was playing snob-bitch. I just needed to establish my space first and be comfortable in 'my territory' before I break my barrier.
So I spent the first few hours in Bed with my friends. We all grabbed our first bottle and had a nice talk and some good laugh. Then I decided to go on start with my 'agenda'. I retreated to the stool by the bar area to finish my bottle while I left my friends in our table. I gotta know if I still know 'social skills'.
Just a minute after I sat myself comfortably on the stool and my bottle becomes empty, someone approached me and offered another bottle. He is some guy who I've seen in Malate but never really had a close and personal encounter with him until tonight. I spent a few more minutes and few more bottles with him by the bar before I decided to go back to our table and join my friends again.
With my comfort zone established, I started throwing my (in)famous 'hi gorgeous' line and was surprised that it still works like magic. I spent a few time just watching people, quickly greeting people I recognized, and flirting around. In short, back to the 'used to be me.' Two guys wanted to 'play' with me but I decided to play it my way and just kept them around for a possible change of mind. Sex simply wasn't in my 'agenda' that night.
I also got a couple of text message from people who wanted to have an EB and/or an after party steamy affair. Again, sex wasn't in my agenda that night so I simply shrugged it off.
Ryan, the guy by the bar who previously approached me, sent me a message and asked me nicely if I am still at the bar and if I wanted to meet up with him (again). I casually said 'yes' and so he went back to see me. I asked him if we could go out of the bar and have a walk somewhere quiet, though. This was just a little more than two hours after we arrived at the place and I was already looking for some place quiet!
He politely obliged to my request and we walked out of the bar and took a stroll. We were walking like we were lovers, holding hands and all, which I like, but that's just it. I am not really into him. He asked me if I'd be interested in the S word, but I politely declined. Again, sex wasn't in my 'agenda'.
So we went back and decided to go our way. He joined his friends inside while I decided to stay outside the bar.
There were still a lot of people outside. I can see them from where I sat. Theres still a lot coming in. I would have usually been inside the bar at this point, but today, I decided to bail out of the party and satisfy my cravings for dim sum.
On my way to the dim sum house with my friend K, my mind fluttered with random thoughts and realizations:
1. I can control my alcohol;
2. I can leave the party before the party is over;
3. I can maintain an 'agenda'.
I am not yet totally giving up clubs and partying. Its a healthy way of keeping ones social skills, I guess. I guess, I am simply partying the better and finer way. Afterall, partying isn't always getting wasted and getting laid.
Happy Pride.
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