The Anti-Social Slob

I've always been open. I never really mind people knowing things about me, and sometimes my personal life. I even like it at times. There are times I've offered some information. A few times when I've gone overboard. Its somehow to feed my ego of the interest people put into knowing my(interesting) life. That's me!

The past few weeks have been different. I noticed that I became an anti-social slob. I've never been out on a public party. I have been twice, but never really got the interest to mingle with new faces. I would usually sit on my spot and stay there until the party is over.

A friend tonight told me it wasn't me. Its actually the least he would expect to see me simply sitting down. I dunno myself why is such the case. Why is such the case of self-exclusion? Let me figure out!

First, I never found anyone worth spending time with. I won't deny that there are a few guys who have gotten my attention, but simply not enough to get me out of my comfort zone and play. It could be because I have my thoughts solely for one person these days, J-- someone who I won't be afraid to be vulnerable with.

Second, I have found it futile to come and mingle with random souls realizing that the probability of finding a few good one is less than the passable. Its just a waste of time telling people the same story of my life, and in the end you realize its not worth telling, afterall. I am simply too interesting for them.

Finally, I have come into terms with myself. I am sufficient less the admiration (and praises?) from other people. It wouldn't add nor subtract anything from me, afterall. I'd be the same me regardless of whether people hate me or not.

By the way, I am just thinking aloud. I don't need an unsolicited advice!