The past two weeks have been hard for me. Having left the house and had to live a single life (again), I have no one to nurse me but myself. Only if a partner is as easy to get as an instant coffee or an instant noodle from the nearest corner store, then I would have gotten one. Then again, on a second thought, I never really like things 'instant' so I would rather nurse myself.
I always get sick-- that's given. Either I am really sick, or I condition myself to be sick. However, this time, I can tell-- I was more than psychosomatic. With the painful blisters, I know it was for real.
I had to brave the creepy hallways of the hospital to have my check-up-- alone. My friend, K, has been very busy and could not skip work to drag me to the clinic so I had to do it myself. With pain getting worst than I can endure, I went to the hospital and had my check up. They prescribe to me some, well more than some I would say, medicine, which I have to take on schedule as the virus had to be treated aggressively since they have gone so potent due to my late check up and late medication.
It was tough, I mean taking the meds. I haven't had to take medicines regularly on time before so I missed my sched at times. The meds are also just soooo strong that I sometimes just sleep the whole day, and wake just to take another set of meds. that has been the first week.
The second week, I had to go back to the doctor for a follow up check. I was more relaxed this time.
Anyway, I have gotten some comforting message from my Sister, who was sending me message after message on my mobile to check on me and make sure I am doing fine. My sister is the only one in the family who knows about my HIV status. She has always been close to me, but we've lost touch since she got married. But this time, I really felt like I had the same Sister who I always knew. I am still my Sister's favorite brother.
Mom also found out about me having shingles. As I was running out of resources, and that my client hasn't paid me for the writing job I did, I was forced to get in touch with Bro and ask for some help. Bro just couldn't keep a secret and told Mom that I was on medication.
I never planned to have Mom know about my shingles, but it happened. She was so quick to offer some help, though. She even insisted on visiting just to see me. However, as much as I would like to have mom look after me, I don't wanna have her worry more than I worry about myself. It kills me knowing Mom is worrying so I'd rather have her not know whenever I am sick.
My niece also called just to check if I am OK.
I am feeling better now. Though I still feel some pain at times, I am trying to manage. The blisters have dried up and are now just scabbing, however the pain might have to remain for the next 3-6 months. Some nerves have been damaged by the viral infection and have to repair.
For the meantime, I am planning to go and visit mom on weekend. I haven't seen them for a while. I know she'll be very happy to see his Baby Boy healthy again. My niece would be more than glad to have his Tito go home and bring her a box of doughnuts.
At this point, that's the only way I can show them my appreciation. I have never been so showy about it. But I know, there are just some things that never change.
Moms will always be moms.
Sons will always be sons.
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